


Coffee?

by onhos



Category: Super Junior
Genre: Alternate Universe, Co-workers, Confessions, Cute, Emails, Fluff and Humor, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Light Angst, M/M, Misunderstandings, Oblivious, Pining, Silly, Tension, dumb gays, excessive hand holding, kyuhyun is shy . and then hes Not, kyuhyun: i am gay and in love fuck u, many references to coffee just because, minor ryeowook/yesung, oblivious siwon, obviously, shy kyu, soft things happen and its soft and i keep saying the word soft, some teukchul if you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-05
Updated: 2020-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:33:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23019358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onhos/pseuds/onhos
Summary: Kyuhyun has always known Siwon is oblivious, but this is just too much
Relationships: Cho Kyuhyun/Choi Siwon
Comments: 10
Kudos: 66





	Coffee?

**Author's Note:**

> WONKYU FOREVER
> 
> this is my first wonkyu fic hope u like it <3
> 
> shy awkward kyuhyun rights

Kyuhyun has liked Siwon for a long time now.

It started off as soft curiosity. Kyuhyun had paused when Siwon had smiled at him with sparkling eyes. He'd caught himself looking at Siwon when he was bent over his desk, his hair falling over his face. When Siwon walked by, Kyuhyun would watch him fondly, and wondered why.

Then, there had been a moment one day when Siwon had opened the office door for him. Kyuhyun, close to him, had looked up into his lovely, warm face. Siwon had smelled husky, like cologne and something sweeter. Kyuhyun's stomach had twisted, and he suddenly thought,

_ Oh. _

The simplest realisation.  _ I like him.  _

A year later, Kyuhyun replays this moment again in his mind as he stares absently at his laptop screen. He thinks of Siwon's cheekbones, his tan skin, the small smile on his face when he'd looked down at Kyuhyun. He's had many moments with Siwon since then, but that one is still his favourite. The small, terrifying moment when Siwon switched in his mind from annoying coworker to the man he couldn't stop thinking about.

Kyuhyun's heart betrays him every day. It's beyond irritating.He narrows his eyes at his computer screen, trying to focus.

It's impossible, when Siwon's cubicle is right next to him.

Whoever said that you should never like your coworker was right. It was  _ hell. _

Like when Siwon brought him coffee, or sent him cute emails that said  _ I can see you  _ or  _ don't work too hard~.  _ Like when they all went for drinks after work and the alcohol made Siwon's cheeks go pink and Kyuhyun just really, really wanted to kiss them-

Anyway. Liking his coworker was hell, and Kyuhyun was getting tired of it.

For example. The manuscript was due soon. Soon as in,  _ next week. _ But all he can think about is how lovely Siwon's hands are. Pianist's hands, he's always thought, long and pretty. When Kyuhyun imagines Siwon's hands on his cheeks, his thumbs brushing over Kyuhyun's skin, he forgets about work entirely.

He never really liked being an editor anyway.

(That's a lie, Kyuhyun loves to type, loves the words, loves the feeling of a job well done, but he's going through a lot with the Siwon thing, so he's justifiably grumpy).

"Hey." A gentle voice says.  _ Siwon. _

Warm hands land on the back of Kyuhyun's shoulders, and Kyuhyun's heart skips a beat. He hates this. He truly, truly hates how he leans back into Siwon's hands, the tension melting in his shoulders as soon as Siwon touches him.

"You seem stressed today," Kyuhyun can hear a fond smile in Siwon's voice, and he can hardly breathe, "Got you some coffee."

Siwon's hands leave his shoulders, and Kyuhyun misses the touch already. But then Siwon leans over him to put the steaming coffee cup on the desk, and he's so close that it's torture.

"Thanks." Kyuhyun mutters.

He sees the smile in Siwon's cheeks. It's the worst thing Kyuhyun can imagine, and to quell his panic he takes a sip of the coffee, only to find that it's burning hot.

"Careful." Siwon laughs, when Kyuhyun gasps, and it's horrible, because when Siwon chuckles it rumbles in his chest and it makes something inside of Kyuhyun go impossibly soft.

His racing heartbeat lasts even after Siwon is safely in his own cubicle. He's still shaky half an hour later, and he's made no progress at all with his work.

If he doesn't confess to Siwon soon, he thinks he might explode.

Kyuhyun sighs and opens his emails.

To: Choi Siwon

From: Cho Kyuhyun

Subject: Save me from this hell

_ Why is it still so early? _

_ Are you working late tonight? _

Kyuhyun bites his nails while waiting for a response.

To: Cho Kyuhyun

From: Choi Siwon

Subject: Re: save me from this hell

_ working late tonight and always ... :(  _

_ fighting, kyuhyunnie~ _

Kyuhyun stares accusingly at the email on his screen.

The thing is, he's never confessed his feelings to anyone before. In fact, he doesn't really like talking about his feelings, period. There's something daunting about being vulnerable like that, and Kyuhyun is awkward enough without the added pressure of _romance_. He always manages to say the wrong thing. The words come out all twisted and wrong, and sometimes they're too sharp.

He sighs. He's never going to be able to deal with this, is he?

Kyuhyun takes a sip from the hot cup. It's strong, with a hint of sugar, just how Kyuhyun likes it. His heart warms imagining Siwon making it for him, and he catches himself smiling in the reflection of his laptop screen.

He doesn't know how his life could get any more embarrassing.

To: Choi Siwon

From: Cho Kyuhyun

Subject: Re: Re: save me from this hell

_ Thank you for the coffee. _

To: Cho Kyuhyun

From: Choi Siwon:

Subject: Re: Re: Re: save me from this hell

_ <3 _

Kyuhyun stares at the screen for too long.

(He doesn't want Siwon's heart. Absolutely not).

The sun sets too quickly, before Kyuhyun has the chance to finish the work he needs to, and he hangs back when the office starts to empty. Not, he thinks, because Siwon is also staying late. 

Except that's definitely why.

Kyuhyun pushes his chair backwards, so that he can see Siwon in his cubicle, just as Siwon runs a tired hand through his hair. Kyuhyun almost falls off his chair, watching Siwon's hands move through his hair like that, but he doesn't, thankfully.

Then Siwon meets his gaze, and smiles, and Kyuhyun feels like he's skydiving. He's plummeting towards the ground, terrified, exhilarated.

"I'm tired." Siwon whines, but Kyuhyun sees that the pile of paper on his work is neat, and his work is finished. "It's been a long day. Are you heading home soon, Kyu?"

Kyuhyun tries to speak, but it isn't going very well.

"I have something I need to tell you." He manages to say, but his voice sounds strangled and wrong even in his own ears.

Siwon's smile turns concerned, and he pushes his chair backwards so he's facing Kyuhyun. Oh, that gentle look in his eyes is too much. Siwon's kindness has always made Kyuhyun's heart twist. He admires the compassion inside Siwon, wants to be like him, wants to keep him close.

"Okay," Siwon says, simply, but it's the most reassuring thing in the world. "So tell me."

The look on Siwon's face makes Kyuhyun think he could tell him anything, at any time, and that Siwon would never judge him. He doesn't know how a man like that exists.

"Take your time." Siwon says.

Kyuhyun thinks he could fall in love with Siwon. 

He hates it.

But he can't help but smile.

"I really like you." Kyuhyun mumbles. He looks down at his fingers, playing with them, his cheeks turning pink. He did it, at least, but now that it's out in the open he feels even more terrified than he had before.

Then Siwon leans forward and pinches his cheeks.

"Aw." He cooes, "You too, Kyuhyunnie."

When Kyuhyun looks up, he sees that Siwon hadn't even realised Kyuhyun was confessing. He's giving Kyuhyun a fond, pleased smile, and Kyuhyun blinks at him.

He'd been expecting a rejection, a polite laugh, or disgust. 

(A kiss, if he was lucky).

He hadn't been expecting  _ this.  _

You've got to be kidding me, Kyuhyun thinks. 

"That's what you were so nervous to tell me?" Siwon grins. "You're a good friend, Kyu. You know, I think that's the first time you've acknowledged we're friends. Thank you. That made my day so much better."

Kyuhyun had always known Siwon was oblivious, but this was just too much.

By the time Siwon has turned back to his computer, it's too late to correct him.

♡

"He  _ what? _ " Ryeowook splutters, spraying rice all over the table.

Jongwoon can't stop laughing; he keeps slapping Ryeowook's arm, tears streaming down his face.

Kyuhyun hates them.

They'd been best friends since college - they were those friends who were always together, the ones you never saw apart. Jongwoon and Ryeowook had been roommates, and Kyuhyun had put up with years of their unresolved tension before he'd locked them in a closet together. Which had worked well, all things considered, but now he was the permanent third wheel.

Kyuhyun's kitchen is small, so they're sitting together at the table, their knees knocking beneath it. He'd texted them a few hours ago with a ominous  _ please kill me  _ which had somehow ended up with the two of them on his doorstep with huge grins on their stupid faces.

He takes another swig of beer. Ryeowook smiles at Jongwoon fondly. Kyuhyun really fucking hates them.

"I can't believe it." Jongwoon gasps, still laughing.

"He really said-" Ryeowook shakes his head, "He really said  _ you're a good friend. _ "

"Yes." Kyuhyun grumbles. 

The can of beer is empty, so he opens another, because he's had a very, very bad day. And the alcohol fades his mental image of Siwon a little. It just also makes him feel a bit sick.

The look in Ryeowook's eyes is pure evil.

"This is priceless." Jongwoon interrupts.

"I'm glad you take pleasure from my pain."

"So dramatic," Ryeowook waves his hand, "Was he not just, like, subtly rejecting you? Sparing your feelings by pretending, or something?"

Kyuhyun had thought that, at first. But he considers himself a good judge of character, and he knows, somehow, that Siwon would have acknowledged his feelings, would've been kind to him even if he was rejecting him.

He shakes his head.

Then he slams it off the table.

"There, there." Jongwoon pats his head clumsily. "It could've been worse."

"It really couldn't." Kyuhyun mutters, face down on his kitchen table.

"Yeah." Ryeowook agrees.

Five beers later, and he's stumbling up the stairs to his room, and falling into bed with a relieved sigh. His mouth his dry and the room spins a little, but Kyuhyun closes his eyes and feels warm and safe. He can hear Ryeowook and Jungwoo laughing downstairs, and he doesn't feel quite as annoyed as he did before.

(He'd never really been annoyed, he never actually was, but that's not the point).

Alone in his bedroom, staring up at a cieling he can't see, Kyuhyun misses Siwon. He imagines his laugh, his eyes, his hands. He imagines Siwon lying beside him, and his heart clenches.

With clumsy fingers, Kyuhyun dials Siwon's number.

"Hello?" A sleepy voice asks.

Kyuhyun imagines waking up next to Siwon and Siwon saying  _ good morning  _ in that slow, throaty voice, and he cries internally. Would his eyelashes flutter as he awoke? Would he smile sleepily at Kyuhyun, as if they were the only two people in the world?

"Hyung," Kyuhyun murmurs.

"Is that you, Kyu?" Siwon's voice goes confused, and then amused, "Are you drunk?"

"Just a little," Kyuhyun waves a dismissive hand as if Siwon can see him, "Anyway, that's not the point. The point is-"

"The point is?"

"The point  _ is. _ " Kyuhyun sighs. "You're just so nice. And handsome. And I'm really glad to know you, you know, I really am glad, even though I'm not good at- whatever."

"Thanks." Siwon chuckles.

Kyuhyun grits his teeth.

"Take me  _ seriously. _ " He tries to sound menacing, but it comes out as a drunk whine, which is more embarrassing than anything else.

"I am." Siwon's still smiling, though, Kyuhyun can hear it in his voice.

"I hate you so much." He says, and Siwon laughs again.

"Sure." Siwon says gently into the phone, and Kyuhyun could fall asleep to the sound of his voice, low and pretty in his ear. "Drink a lot of water before you sleep, okay? I'll see you on Monday, Kyu. Goodnight."

Kyuhyun hangs up the phone and throws it off the bed. 

He'll look for another job in the morning.

♡

As it turns out, Kyuhyun doesn't get another job.

After several pep talks from Jungwoon, he feels ready to try again by Monday. He's determined to show Siwon he likes him. Kyuhyun's already started the whole mess, and he might as well see it to the end. He's efficient, if anything else.

Well, maybe not that efficient. His manuscript deadline is looming over his head, but that's a problem for another day.

So that's how he finds himself at the coffee machine, watching the steam rise. The smell of coffee is homely and reminds him of Siwon. Coffee is like late nights in the office and Siwon's smile, and it's not helping his heart at all.

When he's back at his desk, he stares pointedly down at an empty yellow post it note, the coffee he’s made for Siwon steaming beside his arm.

Jungsoo (technically his superior, but Kyuhyun always forgets that) leans over his shoulder.

"What's that?" He asks.

"Nothing," Kyuhyun snaps, and pretends he hasn't gone bright red. Jungsoo just pulls his ear and leaves Kyuhyun in the state of crisis he had been in for the last ten minutes.

Eventually, he puts the coffee cup on Siwon's desk with shaking hands. The post it note stuck to it says  _ have a good day <3  _ and it's as much as Kyuhyun could manage.

His cheeks are still hot when Siwon returns from his lunch break. 

The thing is, he's never usually this bold. Kyuhyun feels out of place and embarrassed. It's hard for him, cute things like this. People have always said he's naturally cute, but in reality he always feels awkward, like he doesn't fit in his skin. Dating has always made him uncomfortable.

But whenever Siwon smiles Kyuhyun feels like someone braver, and now he'd left a cute note on a coffee cup on Siwon's desk as if they were  _ together. _

The computer  _ pings  _ with an email and Kyuhyun jumps in surprise.

From: Choi Siwon

To: Cho Kyuhyun

Subject: kyuhyunnieeeeeeee~

_ thank you for the coffee buddy!!!!!!!!!!! _

_ have a good day too <3  _

Buddy.

_ Buddy. _

Kyuhyun craves death.

He puts his head in his arms. It's starting to frustrate him now, starting to make his heart hurt a little. Why does Siwon never  _ listen _ ? Why is it always so hard for him to understand?

"You going to the work thing on Wednesday?"

Kyuhyun looks up. Siwon is peering over the top of Kyuhyun’s cubicle with an innocent and angelic expression, as if he hadn't been the cause of turmoil in Kyuhyun's life for over a year now.

"What work thing?" Kyuhyun asks wearily.

"Check your emails," Siwon smiles, "Might cheer you up."

Kyuhyun looks at his computer.

From: Lee Hyukjae

To: Park Jungsoo, Kim Heechul, Lee Sungmin, Lee Donghae, + 24 more

Subject: drinks!!!!

_ deadlines almost here!! _

_ wednesday!! _

_ drinks afterwards??  _

_ pls  _

_ PLEASE _

Professional, Kyuhyun thinks, and rolls his eyes. 

"Please come," Siwon pouts, "I can't take another minute of those two doing heart eyes at each other. I can't handle it on my own."

He points to Jungsoo and Heechul. That's fair, Kyuhyun decides.

"Okay." Kyuhyun agrees. Third time lucky, he thinks, and Siwon blinds him with his grin.

♡

  
  


The deadline for their manuscript passes, at last.

But going for drinks was a bad idea. Damn Lee Hyukjae.

Siwon is so- when he's away from the office, he's so  _ alive.  _ He leans back on his chair, his arms outstretched behind him. He's unbuttoned his shirt, a little. There's a lightness to the way he laughs and talks that captivates Kyuhyun. The more he drinks, the deeper the flush on Siwon's neck gets, and Kyuhyun can't make himself look away.

"Having fun, Kyuhyunnie?" Siwon yells, over the sound of chatter at the table, and Kyuhyun can think of other words than  _ fun. _

"Yeah." He agrees, and loses his breath when Siwon gives him a secret, gentle smile.

"Good. You deserve it, after those last few days." Siwon winks. "Now the book's published and we can relax."

Kyuhyun is the opposite of relaxed. He can feel  _ everything,  _ the sweat on the back of his neck, the line of Siwon's jaw, the way his heart keeps pounding. Siwon catches Kyuhyun looking at the span of his chest where his shirt is unbuttoned, and blinks at him.

"Fancy a breather?" He calls to Kyuhyun.

Kyuhyun nods gratefully.

The cold air soothes him a little - he can look out into the night sky instead of having to look at Siwon's face, which is infinitely easier. Siwon leans against the wall beside him, his face free and relaxed.

He throws an arm around Kyuhyun's shoulders. He smells good; despite the alcohol and sweat, he's still sweet and musky like coffee.

"I gotta go home soon." Siwon sighs. "An author wants to meet me early tomorrow."

Kyuhyun's heart softens. Siwon always works so hard, and never complains.

"Do you want a drive back? Do you want to stay here for longer?" 

Kyuhyun feels Siwon looking at him. 

Now, he thinks, now I should tell him. Kyuhyun’s heart hurts with the longing to.

"I can get home on my own." Kyuhyun says, his voice raw. He clears his throat.

"Okay," Siwon smiles, and it makes Kyuhyun feel a little sad that Siwon would've had the same reaction whatever Kyuhyun's answer had been. This whole situation makes him sad, really. "Goodnight, then, Kyu."

Siwon turns to leave. Kyuhyun reaches forward and wraps his arms around Siwon from behind. He presses his cheek to Siwon's back, and feels himself fall apart.

"I don't want you to go." Kyuhyun murmurs.

The honesty terrifies him. He doesn't like it, doesn't like being bare like this, and if Siwon laughed at him now he thinks his heart would break open.

Siwon turns around, and gives him an amused smile, and Kyuhyun's face hardens.

"You should've said," Siwon says lightly, "You want to come and have a drink at mine, Kyuhyunnie?"

The casual expression on Siwon's face  _ hurts, _ deep in his chest.  How many times would Kyuhyun have to sacrifice his dignity?

"That's not what I meant."

Siwon's smile falters.

"Are my feelings a joke to you?" Kyuhyun asks, sharply. "Why are you doing this to me?"

Confused, Siwon reaches towards him, but Kyuhyun steps backwards. It feels like something has splintered inside of him.

This, _ this  _ is why he's never confessed to anyone.

"Nevermind." Kyuhyun says. 

When Kyuhyun turns away, furious, heartbroken, a soft hand pulls on his arm. Siwon's grip has always been firm, and strong, and Kyuhyun has never been able to resist him.

There is nothing but warmth and concern in Siwon's expression when Kyuhyun looks up at him, and that's what hurts the most.

"What's wrong, Kyuhyunnie?" Siwon asks, quietly. "Lately, you've been so-"

"I've been telling you." Kyuhyun says, "But you don't listen."

"I'm listening now."

Kyuhyun searches Siwon's eyes for something,  _ anything. _

"That's funny," Kyuhyun smiles, bitterly, "Because you're not."

He can feel Siwon's gaze on him when he walks away.

♡

The regret is bitter in Kyuhyun's mouth, like bad coffee.

The thing is, he wasn't really angry. He was scared. Siwon's face was so light, and so amused, because he couldn't see how Kyuhyun really felt. Exposing himself like that has been so tiring, and so terrifying, and he can't bear it another time. Not when Siwon is just going to give him the same, empty look.

And when he gets scared, Kyuhyun's tongue gets sharp, and his words hurt.

Now he feels guilty.

Avoiding Siwon isn’t fun, though.

He was so used to getting coffee from Siwon, so happy to open emails from him, that he feels empty without the small remnants of Siwon in his day. Kyuhyun still sees Siwon's face when he closes his eyes, and days without him are darker, bleaker, like a day without the sun.

Kyuhyun is thinking about this a little more, today. His day at work had been hard, and long, and all he wanted was a hug from Siwon.

He imagines it on his way out of the office. Siwon’s arms right around his back. He shakes his head to get rid of the image. 

Stupid, Kyuhyun thinks. He walks down the corridor on his way to the elevator, staring down at the carpet, wishing he’d never liked Siwon in the first place.

If feelings were that easy to control, life would be so simple. 

“Hey.”

Kyuhyun looks up at the sound of a familiar voice. Siwon is at the end of the corridor, holding out a cup of coffee with an apologetic smile. 

“It’s your day off.” Kyuhyun calls down the corridor, surprised.

“I wanted to see you.” Siwon replies, “I’m sorry. Whatever you’ve been telling me, I’m sorry I didn’t listen. I’m listening now, okay? Tell me everything.”

It’s too much.

Siwon is bundled up in his coat, his scarf pulled up to his nose, his hair soft and falling over his eyes. His coat sleeves are pulled right over his hands, his fingers just peeking out beneath. He looks like home, and Kyuhyun has missed him.

He almost runs down the corridor in his haste to get to Siwon.

Siwon’s nose is a little red from the cold, up close, and his eyes are completely focused on Kyuhyun. Listening, he’d said. 

"Coffee?" Siwon asks. Kyuhyun wants to fall in love with him.

He grabs the sleeve of Siwon's coat.

“This isn’t easy for me.” Kyuhyun says, his voice cracking. He looks up into Siwon’s face, and searches his eyes. “Listen to me, hyung.”

Then Kyuhyun stands on his tiptoes, and kisses him.

Siwon is so warm, and so gentle, and Kyuhyun puts his hands on Siwon’s cheeks and kisses him properly because he doesn’t know if he’ll ever get the chance again.

Then Siwon pulls away, and raises his fingers to his lips, and Kyuhyun still can’t breathe. 

“Oh.” Siwon breathes. “Kyu. This is what you meant?”

Kyuhyun can’t meet his eyes. He nods, slowly, and it’s his hardest confession yet. 

Siwon is looking at him as if he’s seeing him for the first time. Kyuhyun’s heart is erratic, panicked, and his hands tremble.

“Sorry.” Kyuhyun whispers. “I like you, hyung. Do you get it now?.”

Then he walks, and he doesn’t stop until he’s home and he can hide under his blanket and pretend he’d never confessed anything at all.

♡

It’s all going well, when Kyuhyun enters the publishing building where he works.

His walk to the elevator was uneventful, and he keeps his grip on his cup of coffee tight, so if his fingers are shaking a little, well, no one can tell anyway.

The thing is, Kyuhyun's never confessed before, but just as importantly, he's never dealt with the  _ afterwards _ before. Will Siwon avoid him, will he act as if nothing happened, will he maybe... perhaps... return Kyuhyun's feelings? The doubt makes him want to go home. 

But right now, he doesn't have to worry about any of that. He just has to focus on getting to his floor.

Easy, right?

“Hold it!” A familiar voice yells. 

Wrong.

Siwon appears in the doorway of the elevator, out of breath from running to catch it. He freezes when he sees Kyuhyun inside, and they stare at each other for so long that the doors start to close and Siwon has to quickly dart inside. 

They’re too close. Kyuhyun can hear every single one of Siwon’s breaths. He can feel Siwon looking at him, and his heart hurts with the want, and the fondness, and the fear.

Kyuhyun wants to run away, he wants to smile, he wants Siwon to kiss him. 

Kyuhyun feels Siwon’s hand brush against the back of his own, soft and warm, and Kyuhyun can’t bring himself to pull away. Siwon steps closer to Kyuhyun, invading his space. 

“Kyuhyun, I-“

The elevator stops, the doors slowly open. Shindong steps inside with a bright smile, oblivious to the tension. 

“Good morning.” Shindong says, and Kyuhyun can’t even bring himself to smile.

“Morning.” Siwon says, quietly.

“Busy day ahead?” 

“Mhm.” Siwon murmurs. 

Siwon moves even closer to Kyuhyun than before. He intertwines his fingers with Kyuhyun’s, and squeezes his hand, and Kyuhyun can’t think of anything coherent.

Siwon is so warm, and his grip is so tight, and his thumb brushes over the back of Kyuhyun’s hand. 

The elevator stops to let someone on the next floor get on, and Kyuhyun pulls away from Siwon and leaves as quickly as he can. 

“This isn’t your floor, is it?” Shindong asks, perplexed.

It isn’t. Kyuhyun, even though by this point he’s forgotten his own name, at least knows that. But if he’d spent any longer with his hand in Siwon’s, trapped in the elevator, he would’ve fallen in love. 

And he’d had a very long week. 

Kyuhyun heart races all of the way to the office.

♡

By the time Kyuhyun gets to his cubicle, he still hasn't recovered.

He’s scared, and his hand is still tingling from Siwon’s touch. He’s never felt so out of control. Kyuhyun hates being this weak, but now he's, a melted puddle on the floor because a man just held his hand, for goodness sake. 

He sinks into his seat, and rubs his face, and then notices there’s something different about his surroundings. 

There’s a coffee cup on Kyuhyun’s desk, and a post it note stuck to his computer screen. 

He takes the post it note between his fingers carefully.

_ I like you too, a lot _ . 

_ sorry it took me so long to realise, kyuhyunnie <3 _

Kyuhyun hides his red face behind his hands. And there, where no one can see, hidden by his fingers, he smiles, and smiles, and smiles.

The happiness feels giddy.

After the hell it had taken to confess, he’d never expected to be liked back. 

It doesn’t feel real. 

When he finally looks up, a lump in his throat, his heart soaring, Siwon is leaning back in his chair and staring at him. There’s a slow, lovely smile on his face. There’s a promise in his eyes.

It’s terrifying.

It’s wonderful. 

Kyuhyun likes him so, so much.

“Do you want to come back to mine, later?” Siwon asks quietly, looking at Kyuhyun as if he’s the only person in the world. 

Kyuhyun blinks in surprise and feels a flush crawling up his neck.

“I want to make it up to you.” There’s a crooked, nervous smile on Siwon’s face that Kyuhyun has never seen before, and he tries to memorise it. “Will you let me?”

“Okay.” Kyuhyun breathes, and smiles down at his desk. 

The day passes in a warm haze. Whenever Siwon leaves his cubicle, he runs a gentle hand across Kyuhyun’s back, so lovely and so soft that it’s barely there. He sends emails to Kyuhyun throughout the day, with pictures of food or penguins attached, and Kyuhyun feels like he’s dreaming all day long. 

Then the sun falls and Siwon is pulling on his coat. 

“Ready?” Siwon asks, looking down at where Kyuhyun sits in his chair. He holds out his hand.

It’s so ridiculously domestic. Kyuhyun can imagine them going home together after work every night, holding hands, and his chest aches. It’s so embarrassing but he’s so happy that he doesn’t even care.

Kyuhyun takes Siwon's hand. Siwon pulls him to his feet, and wraps him in his strong, warm arms.

"Sorry," Siwon murmurs, "Will you forgive me?"

Kyuhyun buries his face in Siwon's coat.

"Stop it." He grumbles, and Siwon chuckles into his hair. From this position, Kyuhyun can feel Siwon's chest vibrating, and he never wants to leave the embrace, though he'd rather die than admit it. Just for a moment, he lets himself wrap his arms around Siwon's back.

Afterwards, Siwon keeps a hand on Kyuhyun’s lower back the entire way to his car, and Kyuhyun has never been so warm.

♡

Siwon sings as he drives. 

In the grand scheme of things, something like that is unimportant. Nobody else would care if Kyuhyun told them.

But to Kyuhyun, this moment is magical. The two of them in Siwon’s car, listening to Siwon’s gravelly voice, like honey. Kyuhyun plays with his hands in his lap, nervous and unsure, but even still there’s a glow in his chest, a happiness he still hasn’t found a name for. He listens to Siwon’s voice, and he doesn’t want to listen to anything else ever again

“You got off at the wrong floor, today.” Siwon says, casually.

Kyuhyun recognises his teasing tone straight away. He stares resolutely out of the window.

“Did I.” He murmurs. 

“You did. Kyuhyun,” Siwon turns to glance at him, then looks back at the road. “You’re so cute.”

This is humiliating.

It’s awful.

(Kyuhyun never wants it to stop.)

“Sorry I didn’t realise earlier,” Siwon says, “It took me so long. But then you kissed me, and I-"

When Kyuhyun turns to him, there’s a flush climbing Siwon’s neck, and Kyuhyun wants to kiss it more than anything. When Siwon meets his eyes, Kyuhyun's heart jolts.

“Stop looking at me like that.” Kyuhyun murmurs.

Siwon chuckles. 

“You love it, though.” He drawls.

And that’s true. Kyuhyun loves everything about Siwon, even his cluelessness, even the way he drives Kyuhyun crazy every single day. 

“You’re not denying it.” Siwon says, happily. 

“I didn’t say anything.” Kyuhyun grumbles, but he smiles, and Siwon sees. 

“You didn’t have to.” Siwon says. 

Kyuhyun looks down at his lap. His knee is close to Siwon's, and the whole car smells like him. Kyuhyun feels smothered in him. 

Silently, he puts his hand on Siwon's knee. When Siwon's smile make his cheeks dimple, Kyuhyun feels a shy sense of pride. 

If this is what it feels like, Kyuhyun thinks, the whole relationship thing might not be so bad after all. He turns his face to the window, mostly just to hide his pink cheeks, but he hums shakily along to the music with Siwon.

By the time they make it to Siwon's apartment, there's a warm glow of anticipation in the pit of Kyuhyun's stomach. He doesn't know how he found himself here, he doesn't know what's going to happen next, but he  _ does  _ know that all he wants, all he's ever wanted, is to kiss Siwon for as long as Siwon will let him.

The car slows to a stop. They sit in the dark for a moment, and Siwon puts a gentle hand on top of Kyuhyun's. It makes him feel so nervous, that sudden gesture in the dark. It's a sign that Siwon really does like him back. Kyuhyun bites the inside of his cheek.

"We're here."

"I figured," Kyuhyun says, dryly, and Siwon laughs.

Siwon opens the door for Kyuhyun, and holds out his hand for Kyuhyun to take. Siwon looks so pretty, under the night sky, framed by the moon. Kyuhyun can hardly look him in the face as he takes Siwon's hand. His fingers are firm around Kyuhyun's though, a steady weight. His grip is a reminder that it's just Siwon. Just lovely, beautiful Siwon.

"Come on." Siwon murmurs, and pulls him towards the apartment.

Siwon's apartment is pretty. It looks like him, neat and homely, empty mugs waiting on the kitchen counter and paperwork on the sofa. Kyuhyun follows Siwon awkwardly into the kitchen. Once Siwon lets go of his hand, Kyuhyun has no idea how to stand, how to act, so he just hovers there, wringing his hands together.

Watching Siwon put on a record, and grabbing glasses from the cupboard, makes Kyuhyun's face soften. He imagines seeing Siwon in his apartment all of the time - on lazy mornings, his hair wet from the shower, or just before bed, his eyes hazy with sleep and his smile just for Kyuhyun.

"Drink?" Siwon asks, and Kyuhyun wonders how he looks so casual, because he's about to explode.

"Please." Kyuhyun says, to his hands.

Kyuhyun can see the sweat on Siwon's neck as he pours them a drink. Siwon's hands are steady around the bottle of wine, but Kyuhyun's tremble when Siwon gives him the glass.

Siwon is looking at him, and Kyuhyun is looking back, and there is a moment when the rest of the world falls away.

I'm going to fall in love with him, Kyuhyun thinks.

Siwon puts his hands on Kyuhyun's cheeks.

"It's okay." He murmurs. His thumbs brush over Kyuhyun's skin, just like Kyuhyun had imagined a million times before. 

Kyuhyun leans into Siwon's touch.

"Thank you for being brave enough to confess to me." Siwon murmurs, his eyes flickering to Kyuhyun's lips. "I'm glad you did."

Kyuhyun gulps.

He's wanted to kiss Siwon a million times, but never as much as this.

"You really like me, don't you?" Siwon asks, teasingly, his eyes bright.

In this moment, every day he's spent with Siwon flashes before Kyuhyun's eyes, everything he'd felt. Wonder, and fear, and affection, and irritation. He wonders how many coffees Siwon had made for him, and how many nights he'd spent awake imagining Siwon's smile. 

Siwon likes him  _ too.  _ He hadn't really processed that until now.

Slowly, Kyuhyun smiles, and Siwon's comfortable, confident expression wavers.

"Give me a second." Kyuhyun says, and his voice is finally steady.

He steps out of Siwon's grip. He sets the wine glass Siwon had given him on the kitchen table carefully. And then he pushes Siwon backwards, against the counter.

Finally, Siwon averts his gaze and ducks his head. He bites his lip in a bashful, nervous sort of way that drives Kyuhyun crazy.

"Let's stop talking now." Kyuhyun says lowly.

Then he wraps his arms around Siwon's neck, and he kisses him. He confesses more, and more, and more with his mouth, pushing closer to Siwon until they're chest to chest. Siwon's neck is growing hot under Kyuhyun's hands, and his breathing is growing ragged.

Finally,  _ finally,  _ Siwon is nervous too.

"Ah," Siwon breathes, pulling away and burying his face in Kyuhyun's neck. "You didn't answer my question."

"I've said enough, don't you think?" Kyuhyun says, "It's your turn."

And then he pulls Siwon's chin up so he can kiss him again.

♡

Kyuhyun wakes to the smell of coffee.

He stirs under the bedsheets, his eyes still hazy with sleep. The bed is so comfortable, and he's so warm, so cozy, that all he can do his hum contentedly and close his eyes again. The room smells like Siwon, and he sinks deeper into the scent of coffee and  _ him. _

The sweetness in his chest is too much. God, he hates it, but he can't stop smiling.

Safe in Siwon's bed, he remembers the night before. Siwon's body soft under his hands, and laughter, and the way their nerves had eventually disappeared, replaced with  _ something else.  _ Something that looked like the future. 

Kyuhyun can't regret confessing, not when he can still feel Siwon's kisses on his skin, as if he's been branded with them.

"Mornin'." A soft voice drawls, still raw and husky with sleep. "Coffee?"

Kyuhyun looks up to find Siwon staring down at him, his lips quirked into a shy, secret smile. Kyuhyun thinks that  _ like  _ maybe isn't a strong enough word.

"Yes, please." Kyuhyun breathes gratefully.

Then Siwon leans down and presses his lips to Kyuhyun's forehead.

"What was that for?" Kyuhyun asks, when he pulls away.

"You look pretty." Siwon says, running his hand over Kyuhyun's face.

Kyuhyun scrunches his nose, though he can't help but feel a little pleased, a little warm with the feeling of being admired.

"Get back into bed." Kyuhyun murmurs, suddenly shy.

Maybe I love him, Kyuhyun thinks, when Siwon climbs onto the bed and pulls him into his arms, but that's a confession for another day.

♡

  
  


From: Choi Siwon

To: Cho Kyuhyun

Subject: honey <3 

_ I miss you :( xxxxx _

  
  


From: Cho Kyuhyun

To: Choi Siwon

Subject: Re: honey <3 

_ I’m literally in the cubicle next to you, you idiot _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


_ p.s I miss you too  _

  
  
  
  


♡

  
  


From: Cho Kyuhyun

To: Choi Siwon

Subject: Haircut?

_ Did you get a haircut?  _

From: Choi Siwon

To: Cho Kyuhyun

Subject: Re: Haircut?

_ no lol _

_ why, do i look good today?~ _

  
  


From: Cho Kyuhyun

To: Choi Siwon:

Subject: Re: Re: Haircut?

_ Yes. _

♡

From: Cho Kyuhyun

To: Choi Siwon

Subject: I'm sorry

_ I've got to work late  _

_ Will you take out the trash? _

From: Choi Siwon

To: Cho Kyuhyun

Subject: Re: I'm sorry

_ of course, love _

_ hurry home soon <3 _

From: Cho Kyuhyun

To: Choi Siwon:

Subject Re: Re: I'm sorry

_ I love you. _

  
  



End file.
